A year ago today, my husband’s twin sister passed away after a long, brave fight against colon cancer. Over the next few days, we said goodbye to a woman of beauty — full of light, love and laughter. The pain of this loss, even with weeks to prepare, was staggering. And while the pain has dulled with the passing of time and everyday life, it is still profound.
But somehow, the pain of losing Emily — the first loss of a 2016 that left us bare — has made me better. More patient, more open, more compassionate, more prayerful. It has made me aware of God’s voice, and grace. It has brought incredible people into my life as new friends, too many to mention. Abundance at its best.
The enduring pain, feeling as waves sweeping in from just outside my sight line, has forced me to intentionally practice self care, humility and forgiveness. And it’s taught me (and my kids) that it’s okay to cry when you’re hurting because we know the tears won’t last forever. And it is that certain hope — we won’t cry forever — that delivers the beauty of today. We are living. We are loving. We ache because this world is less beautiful without Emily. But the miracle? We are still here, and there is joy. Somehow.
So what can I do, one year later? How do I remember my one and only twin-law? How can this milestone be made into something more than tears? Find joy — or create it for someone else. Whether you knew her or not, I’d love your help choosing one of these things to do — today. For Emily. For me.
- Hug someone tight, long and hard.
- Sing along to a song on the radio, as if it were karaoke night and your very life depended on it.
- Pray with a grateful heart.
- Drink a glass of (very) sweet wine.
- Take a photo of someone you love. (Or, in Emily fashion, take 100 photos of someone you love.)
- Disregard any technology that makes life too complicated.
- Indulge in something delicious.
- Listen carefully to someone’s troubles, and show them you care with a smile or squeeze of the hand.
- Laugh hard — especially if you are prone to snorting.
- Say “I love you,” without hesitation.
Life is marked by the big moments, but it should be enjoyed by the little ones. A card game. An afternoon walk. A living room concert. Watermelon slices on the beach.
Thank you for sharing one little moment of your day to remember a woman you maybe never met — a wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend. A woman who, even on this day, is helping me find joy. Somehow.
Hugs to you my friend. I’ll be doing several of those things and thinking of you!
Isn’t it amazing how you will always have a special connection to our family after taking those photos a couple years ago? Wow, my heart is grateful that we were able to do that and that you came at it with such a spirit of service. xo
I love you ?
You are in the group of incredible people who have come into my life in the past year. Beyond grateful for your friendship. xo
How beautiful Kristen. I never knew Emily, but I know I lover her.
She is worthy of your love, for sure! Emily was one of those people who made every person feel special. Gave away love and affection without reservation. Wish you had known her. 🙂
Kristin, thanks for sharing! Consider this a long, tight hug! Life has so much joy if we take the time amidst all our circumstances to experience and share it! Blessings to you today!
Thank you, Frank! Blessings to you, as well!
Big BIG love to you Kristin, and gratitude for this exquisitely touching article. Every day for the last year I have held you, Eric, Kevin, Steve, Melody and all the children of all ages in the Magette family in my thoughts and prayers and especially in my heart. There you remain. I’m so honored to have met and talked with Emily on a few of her better days. I will continue to honor her by doing “something beautiful for Emily” every chance I get. I love you. Big time.
Thank you!
Love and prayers to your family, today, as you remember a very special woman…who lived life to the fullest, loving every day, in every way….She is probably the best angel that Heaven has ever seen!!! <3
Thank you, Kathy. It feels to me like heaven is an even more wonderful place with her there. 🙂
I’ve done some of these today and will do more today. 🙂 Prayers for you and Eric and your kids and everyone else who loved and misses Emily.
Thank you, Molly! It fills my heart to know that you helped spread some Emily joy in the world.
You put a tear in my eye tonight for all the right reasons. You are such a beautiful writer of words in all situations. I have thought about her a lot lately. Know I realize it is because of the anniversary of her celebration of life. I always felt a strong connection to her before c, I refuse to spell it. I would love to have another family reunion this year somewhere. We can host again, if that is what it takes to get it done. Take care to y’all.
Thank you, Darin! Emily had a way of connecting with everyone — she really made every person feel valued and loved, sometimes in just a few minutes. Getting together would be great — and we both know she would have jumped at a chance to gather!
Beautiful, Kristin. I didn’t know emily, but she sounds like she was a loving friend. I am sorry for your heartache and joyful for your understanding of the loss as you make meaning of the changes that have rippled from her life.
I am a day late, but working yesterday in the hospital I supported folks in their struggle. Beautiful to think of energy as continuous through us all. Big hugs.
Emily was such a bright light, and her legacy to me is a challenge to love more generously. Thank you for the work you do every day with people in need. Em was a physical therapist assistant and over the course of her career came to know practically every person in town either as a patient or family member of a patient. I joke that there isn’t a senior citizen in Ellsworth who didn’t know and love Emily! And they loved her not as much because of their knee or shoulder, but because of the way she connected with them. She was a gift to anyone she met — and you are exactly right, that gift can keep giving, even when she’s gone. Thank you for commenting here and for the hugs. xo